Likeability is simply a social skill, just like any other. Just like a good public speaker can deliver a persuasive speech, anyone who practises the social skill of likeability is easier to befriend.

We are all social animals. Our desire to belong and be accepted by others is what drives us to be civil toward others. In fact, there might be times when we want nothing but to see our ‘enemies’ get run over by a bus but we choose to endure the pressure and react in an amiable manner in order to appear ‘nice’. In order to achieve this kind of response from everyone we meet, we strive to become likeable.

Likeability matters in all aspects of our lives. In our career, most of the opportunities will come through other people and people give opportunities to the people they like. In relationships, someone has to like you before they can love you. Anywhere in life, if people like you, they are more willing to help.

Most of us dream of being better liked, yet we often fall into the trap of believing there's nothing very much we can do about it. Little do we appreciate the potential for change that's in our hands.

If you accept that likeability matters, you can make yourself more likeable to people around you. You can strive to be nicer. You can aim to be friendlier. You can work on being empathetic. You can work on your sense of humour.

To become more likeable, we need to think happy thoughts. This applies to our attitude toward the challenges that come our way. For instance, if you received low marks for your exam, don't think of it as the end of the world. Instead, be grateful it happened because it will motivate you to study harder and manage your time better next time. Behind every dark cloud is a silver lining. If you keep this as your mantra, you will never have to harbour depressing thoughts ever again.

Whether it’s a group project or a personal endeavour, contributing something of value, no matter how small makes a big difference. If you compare a person who always complains about how difficult a task is and a person who acknowledges the difficulty but tries to lighten the mood by finding humour in the activity, you'd want to go with the latter, right? If you want to be likeable, don't put others down and bear more weight on a challenging activity.

There is none more annoying than a person who throws a pity party for himself or herself. People who feel insecure are those who always have to be right at everything, those who always say 'just kidding' at the end of every comment and those who do not know how to laugh at themselves and their mistakes. An insecure person is a crab. A crab is an animal that brings everybody down when he or she is down. If you want to have more friends, don't be one.

A person who keeps changing his or her opinion or merely mimics what other people are saying about a particular event or object not only has zero personality but a very low likeability rate, as well. You don't need to have an opinion about everything – that would be equally annoying, but you don't need to say 'yes' to what others say either. You'll only end up looking like a desperate bootlicker.

If you don't want to be judged, don't judge. First impressions might sometimes put you off but it pays to know the other person better than to immediately make conclusions about his or her character. Judgmental people, if you notice, are the ones who usually eat alone at the cafeteria because those around them are tired of hearing him or her point out the flaws of others. Surely you don't want to be this person.

People who do everything and anything to be liked, people who mimic their friends, are violating their personal standards. They bow down and grovel in the desperate need for attention. These people believe popularity isn’t just one important characteristic, but the only important characteristic.

Don’t be one of these people. If you sacrifice everything for likeability, you aren’t usually very likeable. Trying too hard to be cool typically only makes you a loser. The fact is, likeability is just one of many other traits that are useful to have and it isn’t worth sacrificing everything for.

But if you put likeability in the right context, it’s a powerful tool. It makes relationships easier and it gives you more opportunities without manipulating other people. People help you because they genuinely want to help someone they like.